Nicki Collen was named head coach of the Atlanta Dream on October 30, 2017. In her first season at the helm, Collen led the Dream to franchise-best 23-11 record and the No. 2 overall seed entering the 2018 WNBA Playoffs. The first-year head coach was named WNBA Coach of the Year for her work.
Collen came to the Dream after pair of successful seasons as an assistant coach for the Connecticut Sun. Working for 2017 WNBA Coach of the Year Curt Miller, Collen helped the Sun compile an impressive 21-13 record and finished with the fourth-best regular season record in the WNBA, earning the franchise’s first postseason appearance since 2012.
Prior to moving to Connecticut, Collen served under head coach Karl Smesko at Florida Gulf Coast. Joining the staff in July of 2014, Collen helped guide the Eagles to consecutive 30-win seasons. Before moving to FGCU, Collen enjoyed great success as an assistant coach at Arkansas, Louisville, Ball State and Colorado State. During her nine seasons as an assistant coach at the collegiate level, Collen helped teams reach three NCAA tournaments and five WNITs.
Collen played one year of professional basketball with the BCM Alexandros team in Greece.
As a player at Purdue, Collen was a member of Big 10 championship teams that advanced to the Final Four in 1994 and the Elite Eight in 1995. Collen transferred to Marquette as a junior, competing in two more NCAA tournaments while also securing a Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering.
Collen and her husband Tom have three children, Connor, Reese and Logan. Follow her on Twitter at @NickiCollen.
Of all the jobs in the sports industry, coaching has the reputation of being one of the most demanding in terms of your time and focus. Can you provide some context into where you were in your career when you started your family and what that experience was like in such a travel-heavy profession?
I’m obviously unique because my spouse was also in the women’s basketball coaching world. I kind of followed his career path and we knew we wanted to have a family. My husband is 21 years older than me, so we wanted to do it sooner rather than later, and we honestly did have a lot of problems getting pregnant. We went through in vitro, and that takes its toll mentally and physically. The plan was never not to continue to coach, but I did switch from on the floor to more of an operations type of position.
Fortunately, after having twins, my parents were at a time in that they were slowing down and able to help us care for our children. We didn’t have to worry about that. Yet, when I went back to work, I realized not being on the floor, not coaching, I just wasn’t happy. Being around the game was great, but I made the decision at that point that if I wasn’t on the floor, I’d rather be at home.
Originally, it wasn’t a long-term choice, but it turned into one. The twins were 18 months old when I got pregnant and I thought that I was ready to go back. Then my husband got a job at Arkansas. We moved from Louisville when I was seven months pregnant with our younger daughter.
It’s a unique dynamic in a coaching family, and there are only so many coaching jobs. I had always worked for him and the entire staff followed, so I wasn’t making a conscious choice, it was just our situation. I kept reminding myself that there are so many women who would love to have the opportunity to stay home and that don’t have the financial means to do so. Many times with two year old twins and an infant it was hard, but I tried to embrace it.
You took a break from coaching while your kids were young and have experienced tremendous success since. What helped you stay sharp during your time away? How did you know you were ready to come back?
Because my husband was so involved in the game, I could almost be in a consulting role. A lot of time, I would prep video and send it in for his staff. I worked with some of them and knew all of them, so I at least stayed connected to what was going on in the NCAA and at Arkansas. I’m truly a basketball junkie, so I was always watching the game; college women, college men, and doing some broadcasting work.
At one point I was wondering if I was crazy to want to get back into coaching and pondering if broadcasting was the better route. I’d still be around the game, but not be as invested in the outcome of the game. In broadcasting you do a good job when the game is on, but there’s no “we won/we lost” when you go home. You don’t have an emotional investment in the outcome. Sometimes that’s wonderful, but you miss that when you’re competitive or your trying to play the perfect game. I started to question those things.
What got me back involved was that Tom had an assistant take a job at Texas State and another at Boston College. After six years of being fully staffed, he had two openings, and he told me, “I want you to come back. I want you to run my defense.”
It was very much a tipping point and we realized we had to set some parameters. Being a two coach family, going two different directions in recruiting, we had to be organized going into this. We were lucky enough to be in a position to be able to hire a nanny. At this point in time, we had two kids in elementary school and one in a full-time preschool. I needed that person to pick them up from school or take them to sports – all of those little things.
When I was at home, I was very much in charge of our family’s life; food, grocery shopping and things like that. You get so into a routine as a Mom so it’s hard to keep the kids in that routine when everything is starting to change. Part of the transition was sitting down and saying, “Okay, I’m going to need some help now. My responsibilities are changing. How are we going to do this together? What can you do and what can I do? How do we realign this routine so it works for everyone?”
I was so consumed with getting someone who had great experience and who would love on my kids that I put very little expectations on what I wanted for this person. I was thinking about what I would pay them, whether or not they could they stay the night, etc. Later, after I changed nannies, I suddenly realized that my kids are really resilient and they know we love them. The second time around, I realized I need someone who makes MY life easier. I’m not asking for a cleaning person; but someone who will put wet clothes in the dryer, do the dishes, or prep for dinner if I’m going to be late.
While most working in sports do not have a “typical” day, it seems that daily and weekly routines are key to keeping the family on track. What sort of routines have you developed for your family during the season?
Our family is very much calendar based, especially now with two thirteen year olds and an eleven year old. We have competitive cheer, horseback riding, lacrosse, and are super active at church. We’re both probably guilty at not being able to say “no”, especially to the things that we think make them happy or keep them active. We definitely rely on our family calendar.
We also have learned to be willing to ask for help. When I was coaching for two years in Connecticut we were still living in Florida. Having that support system and a friend that could take my kids somewhere they needed to go was huge. We had to rely on our neighbors and friends. It truly takes a village. We’re now developing those relationships through lacrosse and our new neighborhood – for us, that’s everything.
My situation now is so different from when I was a college coach because my personal calendar is so different. The beauty of the WNBA, and why I love it, is that there really is an off season. In college, the off season means your recruiting or running camps. It’s a really different dynamic. Now, I can continue to connect with my players easily via Whatsapp and keep those relationships headed in the right direction, but we have two stay-at-home parents during the off season.
However, in-season is a way bigger grind than the college season. We go on ten day road trips. My kids now know what that what the pattern looks and feels like. For me, I appreciate that I’m at least more present now than I could ever be as a college coach. It’s so hard in the college game to never not be multitasking. [In the WNBA} It’s not like the off season doesn’t have reason to travel – free agency or scouting – but I’m firmly in control of that travel.
What support can professional teams or collegiate athletic departments provide to best serve coaches with families?
For me, we never had to ask for a lot. I certainly always felt that I worked in family-friendly environments. I’ve absolutely loved it when I’ve had athletic directors or bosses who have girls. I think sometimes with men, when they have daughters, they approach things differently. I’ve been pretty lucky.
To me, the most supportive bosses are the ones who bring their kids or nanny on the road trip. When you think about that level in college and you’re chartering, the school is paying a charter price, not a per person price. I think there are ways to truly support women in coaching when it’s also a bus league. You can easily pop your kids on the bus – there’s always room in that situation.
Being allowed to bring your kids into the workplace, when it’s appropriate it, is key. There’s a fine line if you don’t have the space or the place and your young child is going to disrupt other people while they’re trying to do their jobs. Yet, my kids have fun memories of spending three to four hours every Saturday running through Bud Walton Arena, playing hide and seek with the other coaches families.
One of the cool things now as my kids have gotten older is that they can come into the locker room after the game our hang out in the press room. In some ways, they can take great pride in what I do for a living, and the opportunity to be connected to the players and what’s going on throughout the season.
Who have you looked to for support and parenting advice while also navigating your coaching career?
My parents and my Mom. I was closest to my dad growing up, but I didn’t realize how important my Mom was until I was older. I grew up in a traditional home and my Mom went to work when I was in 7th grade. My parenting style, how I think, and questions I have, are always going to go back to them.
The one thing I learned when I became a parent and I wasn’t working, was how dependent I became on friends. You need that peer group. I never pictured myself being that Mom in a “stroller group”, getting exercise in at the park. Yet, I had a friend who had four kids under 6, and we would run at 5:00 AM before the kids got up. It was therapeutic.
I didn’t have a lot of people my age in coaching. I was in a unique situation because of the age difference between Tom and I, and his peers versus my peers. One of the Assistants on our staff at Arkansas was a single Mom and actually had a former player who was her daughter’s nanny.
I think I learned a little bit from everyone. The more I learned, the more I realized that as women, we have this desire to feel like we’re getting it all right and we have it all figured out. The thing is, everyone has questions and issues. When you finally sit down and talk to someone and say, “I can’t believe I’m dealing with this.”, the other person usually says they’re going through it or have gone through it too. When you share that, “Yeah, I had trouble conceiving and I went through in vitro.”, suddenly you realize that you’re not alone. We’re all fighting the same battles and we’re just afraid to talk about it. I think we need to use each other as resources.
I don’t believe in the myth of “work-life balance” and think “work-life integration” is a much more accurate depiction of what’s possible for working parents. How do you integrate your family into your work-life?
When they were younger and we were together coaching, I would always take them with me. When I was at home, I would take them to practice and they never missed a home game. It’s a little harder to take three kids under the age of three on the road. They don’t care enough at that point.
It has been fun to see the ages and stages. Early on, they’re just there to run around and now we’re to the point to where they pay attention and have a favorite player.
My son plays very close attention, but is very quiet about it.
His twin sister loves her Mom, hopes I win every game, but doesn’t really know what I do everyday. She’s in competitive cheer and horseback riding, but she doesn’t know what a pick and roll is if you ask her.
My eleven year old daughter lives and breathes it. She watches Atlanta Hawks games at night because she knows I know that staff and has gotten to go to games. She knows all the players in the WNBA and plays attention to the details and wants to be around it.
You have to figure out as a parent how much each child wants to be involved in what you do. I know they all think it’s kind of cool that Mom is famous and that I have a WikiPedia page. They can Google me and find pictures. When I took this job and went from being an assistant to a head coach, I remember my youngest daughter saying to me, “Now you’re a real coach”. You can see how proud they are of you.
We try to integrate them in different ways. They don’t come to a lot practices now. They certainly could, as I’ve made my practices open to anyone, but they’re in their own world. I think they miss me when I’m gone and when you get home they want to give you a hug, but then they go back into their own world. Their worlds don’t revolve around my clock anymore.
How has being a Mom made you a better basketball coach?
“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
When I first got back into college coaching after becoming a Mom, I really thought I became a better recruiter. I suddenly understood from a totally different perspective. You become a surrogate parent to your team. I’ve taken a relationship based approach, not that I wasn’t always that way, but you understand what kids mean and how badly you want them to be happy. It makes you realize everyone you coach is somebody’s child.
Being a Mom gave me a different prism to look through, and made me take a step back and think about how I say things. Now that I’m working with adults, I don’t have to worry about their grades. However, I’m still a mentor and I like that part of it. I like to get to know them. I want to know that when they’re done playing basketball that they’re prepared for life after sports. I genuinely care what’s going on with their friends and partners. My personal motto is, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
What advice would you give to the women currently coming up in coaching who also want to start their own family?
I was one of those people growing up who didn’t dream of my wedding or how many kids I was going to have. I loved sports and I wanted to play basketball. I’m forty-three now, and if I could still play basketball, I’d be playing and not coaching.
Everyone needs to be themselves and figure out what they want from life. I think about how much more whole my life feels with little people in it. I watched my kids walk out to the bus stop today at the end of the driveway and realized that they’re now 5’10” and 5’5” tall. It seems just like yesterday they were chasing each other around the yard.
In many ways it gives you a reason to do your job. I want my son to respect women and not have any reason to think anything other than that women can be successful in the workplace. I want my girls to know they can do anything. My boss was my husband, so he was obviously supportive and I realize it’s easy for me to say; but, you have to be passionate about your family and chase it like you would your job. Whether it’s one or two kids, or adoption, you can’t be afraid. I wouldn’t ever have stayed in a role that didn’t have people supporting me being a Mom.
I am also super lucky because my assistant coach is married to the head coach at Georgia. They have a two year old and newborn and they found a way to make it happen. Everyone has to do it their way. You have to know what your policies and expectations are or find a different place. I’ve never heard anyone say, “I wish I wouldn’t have done it [have kids].”
My resume doesn’t read the same as everyone else’s – I stair stepped my way to the top. I was in and out and at various levels; but, I got here. If you’re good at what you do, you can figure out what you’re supposed to be. I’m probably not for everybody, but this job was a great job for me because I got it so organically. I didn’t chase it, they chased me.